When Do I Stop Dating Multiple People & Focus On One?

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Before we start, I just want to say kuddos to you for taking the first step! You’re dating a couple of guys now, which is actually quite a challenge to do, as most of us just stick to dating one guy at a time. It’s good that you’ve chosen to date a couple of people at once — as the saying goes, “collect then select!” So I assume that at this point, you’re ready to finally choose one person from your loot to go steady with – someone who will be a good support system through life’s ups and downs, and perhaps, even a potential spouse. Fret not! We’ve put together some guidelines to help you choose which one to go steady with. Before we focus on WHAT to look for, let’s narrow down that list by eliminating those who aren’t eligible. Here’s a list of red flags. If one of the guys you’re dating has more than 3 red flags, that means bye-bye!   RED FLAGS 1. Reacts violently during fights. This is a MAJOR red flag! He might be abusive in your future relationship, especially when he feels he has more “right” over you. 2. He’s a HUGE mommy’s boy! You’ll find yourself dealing with his mom each time you have an argument. Even your intimate life might be a source of conversation between those two. 3. He’s nice. Selectively. He’s such a gentleman: opens the door for you, treats you like a lady, but he talks to the waiter like trash! Ugh. What a jerk. He goes into the dump pile! 4. And he’s only nice when he wants something in return. This is probably a mommy’s boy attitude — he would kick and scream and throw a horrible, public tantrum when he was younger, just to get what he wanted. And this attitude carried over to today: he’s only nice to you when he wants something from you — money, gifts, sex. Bye-bye! 5. He has 0 goals. He’s been stuck in the same place in his life for years, and all he does is complain about it. He doesn’t know where he’s going, or where he’s bound. This is no good company to keep. 6. He thinks he’s right. ALL THE TIME. It’s good to have a healthy discussion now and again, but to have arguments all the time where he ALWAYS insists that you are wrong? Possibly a red flag. If he doesn’t ever admit his faults, and twists the situation to make you feel like you’re wrong means we have an extremely proud boy in our midst. 7. He’s extremely showy! If the guy you’re dating is constantly and consistently bragging about his job, his money, his assets, his cars, it only means that he’s really insecure, and uses his wealth to compensate for his weaknesses. He might not be ready for a serious relationship. 8. All he wants is sex. Just like point #4, if your guy calls you at 10PM asks if you’re awake and alone, that is an obvious booty call… this doesn’t mean you’re dating, it just means you’re a booty call! If the only thing you guys do is have sex, there is no relationship there. It’s just… sex. 9. He’s really boring. If you’re the only one pulling your leg to make conversation, probably you guys just don’t click. Don’t waste your time here. 10. He’s constantly in debt, and doesn’t feel bad borrowing money from you. Does this even need any more explanation? If he has trouble managing his finances, he’ll likely drag you into his mess down the line.   Look and read this list carefully. If one of the guys you’re dating maintains one or more of these qualities, there’s no sense in proceeding. Now that we have some red flags out of the way, here are some signs that he’s the right guy for you.   GO SIGNALS 1. You bring out the best in each other. You’re feeling inspired and very motivated in your relationship and in your personal life. You constantly want to grow and be better. 2. You communicate openly and freely. It becomes easier and easier to talk to him about anything and everything — your family, your job, your past… you can sense that through this communication, your relationship can blossom. 3. He keeps his word. Nothing’s sexier than a man of his word. If he says something and at the back of your mind you doubt he will pull through, and he ACTUALLY pulls through, this is a guy for keeps. 4. He willingly helps. He reaches out to you when you’re struggling with errands, with lifting heavy things, with moving and any other uncomfortable chores. He doesn’t complain; in fact, he happily helps! This is a good sign you’re with your potential partner. 5. He’s honest. Lying is easy; telling the truth takes courage. If he tells the truth all the time, and he values honesty, then you’ve got a man of integrity, my friend. 6. He respects you and your body. He never forces you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with. He keeps to your pace, and doesn’t pressure you at all. 7. He’s driven and motivated. He’s a man with ambition: he knows what he wants and will stop at nothing to reach his goal. You’ll be inspired having him around, and you’ll want to do better at your craft, too. 8. He’s nice to EVERYONE. He isn’t just nice when he feels like it — he respects everyone, and doesn’t look down on people who earn less, or who are at his service. 9. All your friends LOVE HIM. Your friends have been around longer than this beau has, and they know you better and deeper than anyone else. If your friends like him and enjoy his company, that’s certainly a good sign. 10. It feels right. Finally, TRUST YOUR GUT. if everything feels great, and your gut tells you he might be the one, trust your intuition. He just might be.   If you find yourself with a guy with one, two, or even all these qualities, this rules out everyone else! It’ll be easier for you to finally choose which one to go steady with, and you’ll be happier knowing that you thought it through rationally, true to Hot Nerd-fashion.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]