If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’ve probably had a confusing past couple of weeks or even months. You’re not sure about the status of your relationship, and your guy is leaving you clueless and helpless about, well, everything.
He’s giving you the cold shoulder, but he just says it’s because of work. But you’re still at your wits end trying to figure out if it’s really about work, or if it’s about you, and he’s just afraid to say it. Or maybe his fuse has been delicately short lately, and you find yourself at the brunt of his impatience. You don’t know if he’s just stressed, or if he has a problem with you.
The tough thing about falling in love and entering a relationship is that it can end. Loving comes with the risk of heartbreak, so I’m here to tell you that, well, that’s life. Here are a few clear indications that your relationship is coming to a halt.
1. His priorities have shifted. In the earlier days of your dating life, your boyfriend made sure you felt special and important to him. You were always on his mind, and he made sure to tell you. He had work, and he had his family, but he always still made time for you. If you noticed a change in this behavior, and suddenly his work is his life (even if there was no promotion, or no increase on workload), then perhaps something is up.
If he no longer makes time for you, and he tries to dodge his commitments to you, this could be a red flag.
2. When you do get together, he’s miles and miles away. He finally gives in and goes out with you, but he can’t even get his eyes off his phone, and he constantly spaces out? Trouble’s brewing here. If you’re actually, physically together and his mind isn’t there, and he obviously wants to be somewhere else, it could mean that he doesn’t enjoy being around you anymore, and is therefore contemplating ending the relationship. It isn’t even a matter of proximity anymore — no matter how close, or how far he is to you physically, he’s just … out of it.
3. They give short, one-word answers. When you have the time to finally converse in person, on the phone, or even on SMS, you find him just giving the shortest, most boring answers ever. You ask, “how was your day?” His reply, “It was fine.” No enthusiasm in his voice, and absolutely no interest in you… oh dear, it seems that ship has sailed. If there is no more life in him, especially when it comes to relating with you, this is a major sign that the relationship is at its final days.
4. There’s absolutely no talk about future plans. Remember that trip to Asia that you and he were planning months ago? He hasn’t brought it up, and you’re afraid to bring it up, too. Remember your Thanksgiving plans to visit your family? He cringes every time he hears the word Thanksgiving. Or your friend’s wedding you invited him to that’s coming up in a month? He hasn’t asked about it, and hasn’t shopped for a suit yet. This is a indication that he’s afraid to commit to any future plans because he’s uncertain about how long you will still be together.
5. When you ask him out, and he suddenly comes with a group of people. You specifically indicate that Saturday night is date night — just you and him, right? Then suddenly, he shows up with three friends! Uh-oh. He doesn’t even tell you, no heads’ up whatsoever. And when you try to confront him, he doesn’t give you a straight answer. It’s possible he’s feeling awkward being alone with you because he’s feeling uncertain about where he stands in your relationship.
6. He snaps fast. One clue that he wants to breakup with you is that he’s far less patient than he used to be. He gets angry really fast, and over petty matters at that. Patience requires effort. And effort in a relationship means that you’re still in it for the long haul. If his patience has worn thin, then it’s possible he wants out.
7. He drops you like a hot potato. No calls, no texts, no emails, nothing. He just stops talking to you for a week, two weeks, a month. You don’t hear from him at all, and he just ghosts you. These guys are those who are probably afraid of confrontation and would rather stop talking to you and be done with it. You’ve exhausted all means to reach out, but still, nothing. If he does this, either he’s dead (kidding. Not kidding.) or it’s over.
If you’ve been observing one or two of these indications, hate to break it to you, but it’s possible your relationship is over. I’m really sorry you’ve had to find out here.
It’ll take some time for you to heal and get over this, but you will. All it takes is time. Have a pint of ice cream and watch all the rom-coms you can manage. It’ll be okay. Hugs.